A lot of times, we as believers want to say the good stuff to people that are going through difficulties. What I mean by that is we will say things that act more as a band-aid than an actual solution. For example. Saying “God loves you” can at times be a solution, but saying it at other times can actually be a band-aid. “That doesn’t make sense,” you may be saying to yourself. One would think that saying that phrase would work every time. The reason why it doesn’t is because every person’s problems are different.
I remember when I was in my depression, a person telling me that God loved me would basically go in one ear and out the other. It would have no effect on me whatsoever. Why? Because I had walls up towards God. Telling me that God loved me, laying hands on me, or hugging me wasn’t going to work. What I needed to hear was somebody who actually heard from God, telling me about God’s specific nature and how he works relating to the lie I believed about Him. That is what actually got me free. “You shall know the truth and the truth will set you free.”
When I heard Christians give me the same ol’ spiel “God loves you, and is holding you” it would just make me more and more angry. Sometimes I could not be around Christians because they were simply talking from ignorance. They were making my problem worse because I was feeling hopeless based on the idea that the same cliché was all they could offer me in my time of distress. It’s important that we ask the Father what we should tell people and not just give them what we think they should hear or what will sound good.
I knew this guy who would go around giving everybody these amazing words and prophecies. Everybody would clamor to this person. After a while, they would find out that the prophecies and words were wrong and were only to make them temporarily feel good. The people would get discouraged and feel jaded. The guy was basically giving out words, in the name Jesus, from his self that wasn’t from God. He did it because he had wounds and getting people to come to him for encouraging words or prophecies from God made him feel good. In his world, he was a superstar. Obviously, he was using the wrong method in making himself feel good because it was at other people’s expense and he left a trail of heart break behind him.
Saying a word to somebody that may not sound amazing at first, will many times be the breakthrough that the person needs. I used to tickle people’s ears too, but I realized that’s just not love. That’s selfishness. It’s selfishness in the sense that you are saying nice things, because you want the person to like you. You’re actually caring about yourself more than the person. A person who truly loves cares the about the one getting well in the long run, more than the fear of the one not liking them. Now, I’m not saying that we are not to tell people the “nice words from the Lord,” because people need them, a lot. I give them out most of the time, but I’m willing to say the things that need to be said for the person’s sake that may not be the thing that makes them super happy at the moment. Nobody with a good heart wants to watch a person suffer over and over, and never getting complete relief.
On another angle, sometimes, people who are in pain would rather get the band-aid words, than actually getting the words that don’t offer fast relief. It’s kind of like the mentality of a drug addict or alcoholic. They want the quick fix, but that fix is again, only temporary, while their life is falling apart or changing very little for the good. They don’t want to confront what needs to be dealt with. They live in an “Ignorance is bliss” world, but on the outside, everybody can see that they are not living in bliss and the only one living the delusion is the person who is too afraid to see the reality of it all. And slowly, things get worse, and then they blame God for not wanting to help them.
I’ll leave it with this.. ” The wounds from a lover are worth it; kisses from an enemy do you in.” Proverbs 27:6